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The pre-tip Wednesday adventures of D Girl Diary; New Yorker turned LA’er (add the launch of the new snap…douja).
image by artist Tashina Suzuki
There is a certain symmetry to my life that’s perversely comforting. As I bounce from coast to coast, job to job, and friend to friend, it seems I’m getting better at the hard landings. I expect chaos and instability. It’s part of being charming. I find it soothing that my apartment got robbed three weeks after moving back here, it means the Universe has not forgotten about me. A lack of drama would put me constantly on edge. My better friends teeter on the edge of sanity along with me, and one of them is coming to visit from New York to try and sell her screenplay. She has never been to L.A., as evidenced by her polite pearl necklace and eager grin. As I pull up to the airport curb, my heart sinks at the sight of her screenplay clutched in her hand along with her Gucci handbag. Her heels are too perfect, she will never make it out here.
Read on tomorrow on @ http://dgirldiary.blogspot.com/
October 7th, 2009. The adventures of the D-Girl Diary. Today, a new excerpt, a small tingling of what is to come from the D-Girl every Wednesday on i loved new york. i know…i know…im a lucky duck even though sometimes it ain’t pretty. and yes, everything is relative to New York. (read on below)
Okay, I will admit I have a few regrets. It’s possible, possible I say, not definite, I burned a few bridges out here. It’s possible I got out a gasoline can, planted dynamite, and burned those freaking bridges to the ground. It’s amazing to me the selective memories of Hollywood people! Nobody out here can remember who won last year’s Academy Awards, but they all remember little D-Girl and her trail of lost jobs and broken friendships. Suddenly New York City seems warm and friendly and I miss the fact that nobody there cares about me at all. Seeing the look on Sarah’s face when I ran into her at Boulevard even made me miss watching the Twin Towers crash to the ground from my window as I sat in the Famous Actress’ production office that morning. I regret outing Streets’ small penis in a magazine that went out free with every issue of Variety that day, I regret not suing my ex-boss for sexual harassment, and I regret sucking the life out of all my relationships… But Hollywood changes you, it makes you talk too much, sleep around and not sleep, and we are all vampires making bad movies, all of us, not just little D-Girl and her gasoline can and her trail of dead d-people.
Read on tomorrow on @ http://dgirldiary.blogspot.com/
I feel like Greta Garbo, without the fame or the beauty, but in hiding from nobody in particular and peering out from behind sunglasses too big for my face. I’m driving my fifth car since I first moved to Hollywood, and I’m missing New York and all the people stacked up on top of me. It’s too swanky out here; I prefer to live like a little gnome in my Hell’s Kitchen Apartment as big as a thumbnail where I couldn’t steal cable as easily. But, alas, it seems I’ve worn out my welcome in NYC, so it’s back to L.A., and an older car and an apartment further east. I figure someone out here must owe me a favor. So I start at the Big Three Agency parking lots, littering BMW’s with pictures of someone’s baby and I write with a red felt tip pen: “Had a great time at drinks last year… we should do it again, little Billy would love to meet his Daddy…”
Check her. She’s back: D-Girl …’bout time too.
The ghosts of my past are not just haunting me. They are taunting me. In some garish cosmic test of my strength, it seems everything I have ever done, any job I ever had, any boyfriend I ever loved, any friend I betrayed, have all come crashing back into my life with unavoidable velocity, and I fear my hiding place has been discovered. Damn Facebook, and Twitter, and the social communication revolution for reminding me of all my mistakes and missed opportunities. Joy, euphoria, forward movement — I missed you most of all. I was trying to stay still, regroup, for years and years, and you’ve all interrupted my plan. So, my famous ex-bosses, infamous boyfriends, and indifferent best friends, you wanted me back, or feared I would come back, either way, you all know I’m here now, so I guess I’ll start telling my story…
D-GIRL was a development girl in Hollywood and New York City for many years. While finding projects for actors, directors and producers to make into movies, she amassed a number of salacious tales of questionable morality that became an internet column entitled “D-Girl Diary.” She left show business to become a full-time writer in 2001. Apparently, she is back….
