d-girls image by artist Tashina Suzuki.

When I used to work at Houlihan’s in Times Square, every year during the Rockefeller Center Christmas Spectacular all the Little People from the show would frequent my bar.  We had a bouncer named Bruno and at the end of the night he would shout up and down the bar, “Suck Em Up, Yamos,” and he would put the drunk little folks under his arms and carry them to their hotel next door with their feet poking out and their eyes blurry from the colossal amounts of alcohol they would consume.  One of the little guys was in a few movies, and he’s the first famous person I ever met.  Well, half a famous person I guess.  It was exciting to be around people with stature, and so I moved to Hollywood to work in the movies.   

My first job was as a part-time receptionist at a very posh management company and I worked with a girl who is the hostess for Dancing With the Stars now.  She seemed okay with just answering phones, but I quickly wrangled myself a promotion.  I was hired as second assistant to the President of the Company, and the first assistant was a high maintenance girl named Lenny with the most annoying voice.  My boss’ clients were hugely famous – most of the Saturday Night Live Alumni, and a big Action Star —  and we spent most of our days buying them things like can openers.  One day I came into work and there was a death threat on the voicemail.  Lenny was sure it was meant for her, but my boss was pretty sure it was for the Action Star who was a bad actor, because he was our most famous client.   I kept quiet because I was new, but there is a slight possibility the death threat was for me as I kept company with lots of seedy, nefarious types at that time in my life. 


I  feel super good on Wednesdays, seriously. I circle my day in red sharpie ink, which stains the page.  It’s great.  Today’s Teaser is  tomorrow’s full throttle on D-Girl Diary. READ ON…I’m fortunate enough just to get an inkling.