I’m done being pissed. It’s been a week, and I mostly feel sad. What is this? The five stages of grieving? Maybe. The GLBT community has had lots of reasons to be sad this past year. Sure, a meeting with the Prez and HRC…. OK?? But who’s really cheering for us? Not the White House and certainly not those C Street senators [no, seriously….’The Family’? SCARY!]. It seems to be all about ballot boxes these days. And money. Big dollars pouring in from everywhere, in an effort to defend the sanctity of marriage. Or, the definition of it. I wonder if anyone really knows what that means. Do you think you know? Lots of questions here, right? Easy, right? Have you been upstate in a while? I haven’t. I guess that’s where those pesky little righties hang.

Listen, enough of the bullshit. New York, you broke my big, fat, atheist, gay liberal heart! I feel like all the hopes I had stored in NY [OK, the ones that were left] have been dashed. If you can’t make it there….blah, blah, blah. Damn you! But how does this happen, and then we turn around and pass hate crimes legislation? Well, I have a theory about the entire mess.

You see, it’s really about power and control. Always has been, always will be. If, all at once, GLBT’s were EQUAL…. in EVERY way…wouldn’t that make their little straight heads implode? Yes, it would. The angry white men in charge are feeling less and less these days. Especially the NeoCons. This isn’t a religious issue people! It’s called human and civil rights! And by granting me mine, I become EQUAL to YOU and you can’t deal. Control and power. It’s that easy…. and just that disgusting. Hell, I’d almost respect them if they came out and said, ‘I hate you’! But, haven’t they already? Who are we hurting exactly? What will you lose if I gain? I say check your control freak issues at the door [along with your 51% divorce rate] and let’s get on with life.

I guess I’m still a little angry. New York, you dropped the proverbial ball. But, some of us are picking up and moving on…like to New Jersey! That vote comes soon. And I’m still looking for the GLBT cheerleader. The big celebrity, or whoever, to stand up and say ENOUGH. Meanwhile, Sarah Palin, Mike Huckabee and Rick Warren are loading the cattle onto the ‘Bigotry Bus’. It’s a cross-country tour to scare you into believing that I’m a bad person and don’t deserve human, civil and equal rights. No worries, though…I stuffed a rainbow flag in the tailpipe.

(image: FLKR)

Todd Johnson– A Chicagoan at heart, now writing in his spare time in St. Louis. His most recent project is a memoir that includes recollections of addiction, recovery and his 25 year journey with HIV. Todd continues to be inspired by many writers/ poets…two of whom are his father and brother, both published authors.