When I was in Junior High School in Massachusetts, I had a fight scheduled with another girl almost every day after school.  Girls would constantly ask me to fight them, I guess it was because I was really small but I had a big mouth.  I only won one of these fights, and that was because I hit a girl in the mouth who had braces and she started bleeding and stopped fighting me.  All of the Tough Girls at that school hated me, mostly because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut during class; they slashed the tires on my Mom’s car when she came to see me play the drums in a band concert and I couldn’t walk to the local library after school without fearing for my life.  I used to hide on the path between the school and the library until all the Tough Girls left for the day, and I remember distinctly one day a tall girl who was about 16 and still in the eighth grade chasing me down the street while wheeling a baby carriage, cursing at me with a lit cigarette in her hand.  It was a rough town, a small factory town, and not the actual town my family lived in, as I lived in a town too small to have a Junior High School.  We moved away after my eighth grade year and I came back once to visit my best friend and go to the Annual Town Fair.  Even though years had passed, I got followed around that day by some Tough Girl still angry at me for wise cracking at her during Science Class. 
 
I am an adult now, and no longer get into fist fights with girls, but much of the conflict in my life still stems from my Big Mouth, and Hollywood is a lot like Junior High School.  Every day lately, at some point, I start to get the same queasy feeling I got when I was younger and the end of the school day approached: the feeling that sometime later that day, I was going to get the crap beat out of me.  Only one spunky Iranian girl at work has the guts to talk to me, everyone else has been instructed not to speak to me because my Big Boss is afraid I will sue the company for firing me for having Multiple Sclerosis.  I had no intention of suing when this first happened, I was happy to learn I still had a job, but the New Producing Partner is now on a mission to make my life so miserable I will quit, and once again I am being called out to the playground to fight someone twice my size. 

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D-Girl Diary tomorrow!

(d girls image artist Tashina Suzuki)

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