I have read 26 scripts since 9:00 this morning, and my eyes are beginning to cross.  I’m doing coverage for money now, until I find a real job, and I’m acutely aware that some poor screenwriter’s fate is in my hands as I evaluate their life’s work with a Vanilla Ice Blended in one hand and my television remote in the other.  I’m using a pseudonym for my coverage, Shippy Shipwright, so that I might still be taken seriously as a real writer, and I’m thinking of adopting this pseudonym for other areas of my life as well, so when I screw up and blab someone’s deepest, darkest secret, Shippy gets the blame for it.

In order to make my rent next month, I need to do about 150 more sets of coverage, so I call one of the interns from the company I just left.  She doesn’t know I quit, so I tell her I’m working from home for a few days.  The intern has purple nail polish and bright hot pink curly hair, and she does really great coverage. She’s also a screenwriter, and her script, which is set on Mars, won a contest I helped arrange, which is how I found her.

The Intern comes to my apartment to collect some scripts from me, and we start chatting.  After a few glasses of wine, I’m considering asking her to have a threesome with my Insignificant Other, but I don’t know if that’s too much to ask. The Aspiring Actor I have been dating (and not dating) for three months is quite obviously not just looking for the love of an okay woman: if he is going to commit to someone full-time, he wants added benefits.  I tried to break things off with him when I quit my job last week, but I couldn’t take all that change, so instead of gradually not returning his calls, I made up a new sexy girlfriend I met at Barry’s Boot Camp: Shippy Shipwright, who has seen his picture and can’t wait to meet him.


D-GIRL was a development girl in Hollywood and New York City for many years. While finding projects for actors, directors and producers to make into movies, she amassed a number of salacious tales of questionable morality that became an internet column entitled “D-Girl Diary.” She left show business to become a full-time writer in 2001.